They held extra rain in the sky,
Until I arrived in July,
A serious bummer,
Because in the summer
Seattle should be warm and dry.

Did you guys save this rain just for me? You shouldn’t have!

–

As the day breaks, a beautiful hush
Hangs o’er breathtaking fields, oh so lush,
But this deceptive green,
Is the most ever seen,
For the rain’s turned the whole place to mush.

Sometimes it’s the colors that tell the real story, and it’s a tragedy. Driving along, enjoying the lovely green fields in North Dakota and Montana, we suddenly realized: It’s not supposed to be green here! And those blue waters? The ones over the road? They’re not supposed to be here, either.

A rancher in Montana yesterday told us about digging a post hole on top of a rocky hill and coming back, two days later, to find it half-full of water. “It hasn’t rained, has it?” he asked his Dad, incredulous. “Nope.” In all their lives, folks have never seen the ground this saturated. Many folks couldn’t plant their crops. The ones who did say their hay’s not forming heads and ripening.

Our pictures show blue skies, puffy clouds, and vast green fields. The news organizations’ photos show tragic flooding and families fleeing their homes. Both capture the truth of 2011.

Here’s where we crossed the Mississippi.

And here’s some of the flooding along I-94.

The following super-green photos were taken at Theodore Roosevelt National Park in North Dakota.

We were driving from Durham to ocean,
When we happened upon a commotion.
All the folks in a huddle,
Had been stopped by the puddle,
But it did not impede our car’s motion.

I’d been worried, unable to sleep,
For I feared that my friend’s trusty Jeep,
Might get stranded and drown,
In that flood, murky brown,
But the water was 2 inches deep!

At an ice cream shop in Vanceboro, North Carolina, the woman behind the counter told us she had to be rescued from her house that morning by boat. When we asked about any flooding on US 17 to the south, she said, dramatically, “The water is over the road up that way — and it’s rising.” Concerned, we hurried through our ice cream and got back on the road. We found the flooding, one block away. It was just a big puddle.
-30-

Here in sunny Nebraska, this morn
There’s a steer who is feeling forlorn,
He looks up and says, “Moo!”
Which means, “Hi, how are you?
I like grass, pleeeeeease don’t make me eat corn.”

Driving through CAFO country is enough to turn anyone vegetarian…

If you think that equality’s great,
And you wish for a world free from hate,
And you have curly hair,
And your first name is Claire,
Here’s your present! It’s just one day late.

Claire’s birthday was the day before the inauguration of Barack Obama. The photo above is Obama’s official presidential portrait, which we’ll be seeing in federal buildings while he is in office. It’s the first presidential portrait taken with a digital camera.

Now there once was a feller, McCain,
And he took matching funds to campaign.
Now Barack has the dough
For his own TV show,
Which makes baseball fans loudly complain.

Speaking of complaining, Barry rolled his eyes and said no more political entries in our Adventures blog. But he just can’t stop me from limerickin’!

Oh, there once was a fellow named Bill,
And he thought being Prez was a thrill.
So he saved every note,
That his staff ever wrote,
Which now poses a problem for Hill.

When the big female candidate cried,
People said, “The ex-president’s bride
Is not really tough,
And campaigning is rough.”
But it brought voters o’er to her side.

A little Thanksgiving limerick to celebrate the annual pardon of two turkeys by the president:

I just heard that two turkeys’ demise
Was avoided, to their great surprise.
The big turkey in power,
In the eleventh hour,
Gave them pardon, along with the pies.

There once was an ornery cuss,
Who was driving a yellow school bus,
But she flipped off George Bush,
Now she sits on her tush,
‘Cause she lost her job in all the fuss.

This refers to a Seattle-area school bus driver who was fired for flipping off George Bush’s motorcade this past June. OK, a bus driver is supposed to be a role model for students, so I can see a reprimand. But firing? That’s going too far.

I try to keep my limericks clean, but this one just came to me, unbidden, on June 13th. Four days later, I found myself surrounded by naked men and accompanying a parade float made up of bells (see “Wiggling and jiggling in the Fremont parade.”). All I can say is, I may be prescient. Watch this space for other clairvoyant limericks.

There once was a guy with a thing
Who just wanted to make a bell ring.
But the sound was all wrong,
The bell, it went “dong,”
And ya know, bells are s’posed to go “ding.”

There’s a fragile and tenuous link
Between chaos and order, I think.
It would be really wicked,
If the garbage men picket,
Causing chaos, disorder, and stink.

Last night, Seattle barely averted a garbage strike. The Seattle Times ran a photo of union organizers after the ratification of the contract. They were gathering up the unused picket signs and getting ready to put them — where else? — in the garbage.

On the very first Thursday in May,
The government says we should pray.
But for those with no creed,
It’s a conflict, indeed,
So instead, let’s just oompah all day.

This year, May 4th is both the National Day of Prayer and National Tuba Day.

A bikini-clad Kiwi named Nelly
Decided to wrestle in jelly
“It’s Easter, I know,
But I just have to go,
If I win, I might be on the telly!”

For more on semi-nude jelly wrestling, see Candy is dandy, under Adventures.

There once was a man named DeLay
Who found, to his shock and dismay,
His aide was indicted,
The Dems were delighted,
And Republicans said, “GO AWAY!”

In his resignation announcement today, Tom DeLay said that “after many weeks of personal prayer,” he had decided to step down from Congress. See the LA Times article, Delay Announces Plan to End Career in Congress.

After I sent this out, Tom Lambert suggested a much better title: Wedding Belles!

Two gals who were feeling quite plucky
Drove north in their lesbian truckie.
But the Mass. judge said no,
And so home they did go,
Now they’re living in sin in Kentucky.

Massachussetts Court Limits Gay Unions - The New York Times, March 31, 2006.

“So hit me!” the president cried,
To the dealer who sat by his side.
“It won’t be that hard,
For me to dis-Card,
We’ll dump him for someone untried.”

Bush announces the resignation of his Chief of Staff, Andrew Card.

There once was a team called the ‘hawks
Who said, “The twelfth man really rocks,
Let’s show our home town
That we can get down
And knock off the NFL’s socks.”

The twelfth man refers to Seattle Seahawks fans. They make so much noise at games, it distracts the other team and is like having a 12th man on the field for our team. The Seahawks team is 30 years old, but February 5, 2006 will be their first-ever Superbowl.

It’s raining now in our home town
It’s dreary and people feel down
For twenty-six days
We’ve seen no sun rays
A snorkel’s required, lest we drown
*****
In the winter, in Seattle, it often rains. Not every single day, though! This year is different: As of today, we’ve had 26 days of rain in a row and are closing in on the all-time record, 33 days. Even we think that’s a little excessive.